Monthly Archives: November 2020

Angst Off The Port Bow!

A clear US election result will calm investor nerves | Financial Times

I keep expecting my TV to short out.

What with all the Sturm and Drang on the 24/7s, I figure it’s only a matter of time before beads of perspiration roll down the flat-screen as my set electrocutes itself.

I’m not sure what everyone is so stressed about. The election is already decided.

This is not to predict any specific races Tuesday, including the presidential one. What I’m saying is that the results are largely moot, because America began juking to the left the day Donald Trump was elected president. The moment we, as a nation, discovered that the candidate who claimed power actually lost by 3 million votes, we have been pushing against that power. It’s just America’s way.

It’s hard to accept, because Trump is so lecherous and his cronies so loud. It’s easy to believe that groups like white militias, QAnon and anti-vaxxers represent the United States. A major news corporation needs you to think that, because fear keeps its lights on.

But look at the liberal victories that have punctuated the Trump administration:

  • Women took to the street by the millions to help lead the 2018 blue revolt that captured the House.
Midterm election results 2018: why Democrats' blue wave wasn't bigger - Vox
  • A conservative Supreme Court ruled that the LGBTQ community was protected under the Civil Rights Act.
Supreme Court's ruling will grant protections for LGBTQ workers in Texas |  The Texas Tribune
  • Black Lives Matter and #MeToo have opened serious dialogues on race and gender for the first time in America for a half-century.
The key issue Black Lives Matter and #Metoo have in common - U.S. News -  Haaretz.com

And liberal victories are continuing all along the march to Election Day. Just two days from Nov. 3, at least 93 million people have already voted – about two-thirds of the total votes counted in the entire 2016 general election.

Don’t take our word for it. Just look at what were once impenetrable conservative strongholds: Texas and Trump rallies. Today, the Texas Supreme Court rejected a Republican petition to discard almost 127,000 votes cast via drive-through sites in Harris County, where Houston is located. In that state, more people have already voted absentee in this election than voted in all of the 2016 race. The question has become when Texas will turn blue, not whether.

And look at Trump rallies. CNN and MSNBC love to bitch about how the rallies violate the rules of social distancing, which is true. But look at the crowds. Notice how many are wearing masks. Yes, they’re still calling for Michigan Gov. Gretchen Whitmer to hang for closing bars and gyms during COVID. But now they’re screaming through cotton. Pandemics will do that to shuttered minds.

Watch the Trump Rally from Reading, PA - Coal Region Canary
At a Pennsylvania rally this weekend.

Obviously, there are still stakes. The Affordable Care Act, abortion, even gay marriage may be at risk.

But the reason Republicans didn’t rescind Obamacare is because America didn’t want to give it up. The ACA — along with gay marriage and legal abortions — may still disappear, especially with the latest Supreme Court justice thrust upon us.

But the country will not like it, and such outcomes will only delay the day of reckoning awaiting Republicans who have painted themselves between a rock — science, technology and a blended population — and a hard place: The Trumpian narrow mind.

Or simply look within. I hate the word “woke,” but ask yourself: Since Trump’s election, are you more or less enlightened about:

  • Racism?
  • Sexism?
  • Climate change?
  • Policing?
  • Health?

Has that knowledge (or lack thereof) moved you further left or right?

So don’t stress, southpaws. Conservatism works against the very laws of physics: The Second Law of Thermodynamics mandates constant change in the universe — a core liberal tenet. That change may not come Tuesday, but it’s coming.

Just imagine what life must be like for those on the other side of the political aisle. Imagine having to defend a virus-denier, which will one day draw comparisons to other denials.

Change is coming for them, too. Except for them, it will feel sudden.

Then There’s the Dane…

Miller's Crossing | Cinema 1544: The As-Official-As-It-Gets Site

God help me, I’m considering a Great Dane.

I’ve never owned one, and only met them at dog parks. I met one so handsome and Paul-Newman-blue-eyed I told the owner it may have been the most beautiful animal I’d ever met. He said thanks, but that he was just the walker. He said the dog had its own agent, it was booked for so many commercials and magazine shoots.

Every Thing You Need To Know About Great Dane Eye Colors

I don’t give a shit about magazine covers, but I gotta admit: I’ve always loved horsedogs. In truth, my Walter Mitty existence involves owning a horse. But let’s be real; I’m no cowboy.

I am, however, a dogboy. And the bigger the better. Teddy tipped the scales at 75 pounds, Larry 80. Now I’m flirting with the idea of a single dog that outweighs them both.

I’m not sure why I’m drawn to such an enterprise, because every column and YouTube video I’ve watched warns: Be prepared to do the work. There’s no short-changing training or attention with a Dane.

Perhaps that’s the appeal. I once knew a 120-pound Detroit Rottweiler, a frightening site to behold. She looked like she’s have you for an appetizer, but she was all softie. And when a 120-pounder splays on you, it’s a lovegasm, plain and simple.

Should You Let Your Dog Sleep in Your Bed? | Hill's Pet

I think I want that again. I’m not one with the natural world; I don’t commune or meditate or chant a mantra. Your cosmic unity will always sound like a horoscope to me.

But maybe I find the world through dogs. I know this is parental dementia, but a dog’s breath to me must smell like what baby’s breath smells like to a mother. I don’t engage in dog speak, but that’s only because I think it demeans both parties. But if I could get through, I’d bark over talking.

I know this instinct would cost, literally and figuratively. I would want insurance. Dog food would cost some people’s rent. Shit would drop like a Trump rally.

And still…

WOLF IN YOUR DOG? | TheDogPlace.org

I’ve never had a parenting urge. But this desire to bring a wolf to guard my campfire is primal.

If a dog is my entree to the universe, maybe it should be soul that blows the goddamn doors off.