Monthly Archives: June 2020

To Infinity and Within

God knows, sharks patrol these waters whenever Donald Trump (or fans of the imbecile) enter them.

But this is honest praise for an idea of the Pumpkin-in-Chief: The Space Force.

Donnie has taken quite a pummeling on the late-show circuit for the idea, which became a clever Netflix comedy. Even serious news outlets couldn’t resist taking a jab at the notion, including noting how similar the emblem is to the iconic Star Trek insignia.

But let’s resist the irresistible for a moment to seriously consider the notion.

It ain’t bad.

Consider: Every government dollar that goes toward the agency is a dollar NOT spent on an absurd border wall (though, granted, that endeavor is always going to be flush with cash as long as the dimwit and his cronies are in office).

But more importantly, this is the rare instance when GOP money (and interest) is dedicated toward a real scientific pursuit, not on debunking one — like the administration’s orchestrated effort to undermine findings on, say, global warming. Or a pandemic.

Imagine for a moment that Trump wants the fastest spaceships to round up future immigrants who he believes will fly into orbit and descend smack dab in the middle of the country, bypassing his glorious wall. Or he wants to build a Trump hotel-casino on Mars.

Ridiculous? Of course. But so is accusing a 75-year-old of intentionally cracking his head open in a presidential conspiracy. The guy puts the dic in ridiculous.

But Elon Musk wants to colonize the red planet, too.

And give Trump this: Few presidents have a political party as obedient as Trump. And if he wants dominion over the galaxy, you know Mitch McConnell and Sean Hannity will literally move heaven and earth to provide the echo chamber of agreement Trump craves — and demands.

In doing so, scientists would be tasked with valid challenges things like improving how quickly we move through the cosmos. Legitimate scientists have been pursuing light speed capability since we learned the concept.

And that casino on Mars? That would mean exploring ways to terraform a planet, another dream of scientists (and considered by some of them an option for an overheating Earth).

History has proven that wild scientific pursuits produce real-world breakthroughs. Kennedy was roundly criticized for his moon landing promise. Critics initially called the $25.4 billion exercise nothing more than a vanity project. But it helped produce more than 6,300 technologies, including the CAT scanner, freeze-dried foods, satellite television, memory foam and the joystick. NASA partnered with Black & Decker to invent various battery-powered tools for drilling and taking rock samples in space, which led to the creation of the DustBuster.

So let’s not unilaterally dismiss Dumbo’s ideas. Some of those big-eared notions might have the power to fly.

Politically Ill-Informed with Bill Maher

Bill Maher Says 'Reckless Experiment' of COVID Lockdowns Led to ...

I’m a big fan of Bill Maher.

The host of HBO’s Real Time with Bill Maher was one of the first to use the term “panic porn,” a perfect description of the news coverage style of the 24/7s. He’s one of Donald Trump’s fiercest critics. And he’s funny as hell.

But there’s something off on his coronavirus diagnosis. And it’s somehow in sync with Fox News in lamenting the coverage of COVID-19.

Yes, the news is monotonous in its alarm bell headlines about the virus. Between the pandemic and protests, CNN and MSNBC are as varied in programming as the Lifetime Network.

But he may be doing real harm in his complaints about the re-opening of the country. Perhaps fatal harm. Just like Sean Hannity. Just like Tucker Carlson. Regulator Says Hannity, Carlson Broke Impartiality Rules | Law & Crime

Of late, he’s pointed out the inconsistent policies of state and federal government to get the country and economy jump started. “Why can’t I get a haircut, but my dog can?” he asked in a recent episode of his show. In moaning that he can’t see a baseball game this summer, Maher featured a picture from a packed United Airlines flight recently and asked why United Airlines is up and running, but United Airlines Stadium isn’t. Fair enough.

Yet he’s seemingly ignoring statistics. We’ve eclipsed two million confirmed cases in the U.S. alone. We’ve surpassed 100,000 American deaths, making COVID one of the country’s leading causes of deaths this year.

And those aren’t Breitbart numbers. They’re sourced from places like Johns Hopkins University and The Lancet. And the CDC! Do you really think an arm of the Trump administration is under-reporting the numbers? If it were up to Dr. Bone Spurs, the number would be in single digits, if they existed at all.

And showing a packed plane doesn’t exactly make the argument. We don’t know if passengers are aboard a flying petri dish. We may not know for weeks. Just because, say, most people drive home safe with a .08 blood-alcohol level, that isn’t an argument for raising the legal limit.

Already, we are seeing a spike in COVID numbers, as experts predicted. Confirmed cases have risen in 19 states. Hospitalizations are up in at least nine. Is that fake news, Bill? Do you think physicians are in cahoots, doctoring the numbers in a radical left conspiracy?

I love when healthy people complain about the overreaction to a health risk. Or the under-qualifications of modern sciencists and doctors. You apparently have experienced the benefit of neither.

It reminds me of self-professed libertarians, among them magician Penn Gillette, of whom I’m also a big fan. Funny how poor people rarely call for libertarian-ism. Magician Penn Jillette Says 'God, No!' To Religion : NPR

Face it, Penn and Bill. You don’t want your wallets touched. You don’t want to be bothered with the ailments of the sickly.

And I’ve got news for you, Bill. You can get a haircut. Have your HBO stylist come by for a home visit. Get a set clippers. Or hop a flight to a state that’s opened its barbershops.

Maher has described the nation’s reaction to coronavirus to a panicked babysitter rushing upstairs in fear of an intruding slasher.

Here’s a news flash, in real time: The calls are coming from inside the house.

I Scream, You Scream

Double Dark Chocolate Keto Ice Cream (Ridiculously Good) - Keto Pots

Amid the pandemics and protests of the weekend, we failed to acknowledge National Chocolate Ice Cream Day. In recompense, this FactSlap column is dedicated to one of the nation’s leading causes of brain freeze:

The first known ice cream recipe was handwritten in the recipe book of Lady Anne Fanshawe in 1665, and it was flavored with orange flower water, mace, or ambergris – an intestinal slurry puked up by sperm whales.
The waffle cone was created at the 1904 World’s Fair in St. Louis when Abe Doumar, a traveling salesman, encouraged an ice cream vendor to serve their ice cream on rolled waffles made by another nearby vendor when they ran out of paper dishes.
Chocolate ice cream was invented long before vanilla, and the first documented recipe for it appeared in the book The Modern Steward, published in Italy in 1692.
Vanilla ice cream may be the default flavor today, but it was quite exotic and rare in the late 1700s, as vanilla was difficult to acquire before the mid-19th century.
Many ice cream flavors popular in the colonial era in the United States are still mainstays – vanilla, strawberry, pistachio, coffee – but others, like oyster, parmesan, and asparagus – didn’t have staying power.
The Häagen-Dazs brand was established by two Americans – Reuben and Rose Mattus – and the name was made up to sound Danish and sophisticated. The Danish language does not actually use umlauts.
Ben & Jerry’s was the first company to sell chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream in 1991, and the flavor was created based on an anonymous suggestion on a board in their Burlington, Vt., shop.
Ben & Jerry’s ice cream flavors are full of chunky mix-ins in part because co-founder Ben Cohen has no sense of scent, and a lot of his pleasure in ice cream comes from its texture.
Food photographers frequently use modified mashed potatoes as a stand-in for actual ice cream in photos.
An “ice cream headache” happens because the nerve endings on the roof of your mouth are not used to being cold, and they send a message to your brain signaling a loss of body heat.
Apple pie a la mode was invented at the Cambridge Hotel in New York when a customer named Professor Charles Watson Townshend regularly ordered ice cream with his apple pie. Another diner, Berry Hall, coined the dish’s name.
The sundae was invented when soda jerks in the late 1890s bowed to criticism from religious leaders for serving “sinfully” rich ice cream sodas on Sundays. They started serving the ice cream and syrups without soda water and called it a “sundae.”
Hawaiian Punch was originally created and marketed as a syrup intended as an ice cream topping, but it became more popular mixed with water as a drink.