Welcome, ye converts!

We knew we were onto something with Evidentialism. But we never expected such a widespread conversion. No worries; we can accommodate you all, though it’s clearly a limited-time offer.

For here we are, called to collective Mass by Circumstance. Our heads are bowed, our hands are clasped. Of course, we have a lot of time for solemn reflection lately; we can’t go to most public gatherings, schools are closing, sports are canceled. What’s a body to do besides pray for a body?

Yet those heads are bowed not for a higher power to smite an enemy, not a savior to bring forth justice with great vengeance and furious anger.

No, we’re praying to science.

Look at the way we changed our everyday lives when science told us of an imminent, existential threat. We now elbow-bump. We wear medical masks to the grocery stores. We have suspended human interaction until further notice.

The urge here is great to make this column one long endorsement of Evidentialism, the faith that posits that science is a faith. It’s tempting to point out that folks aren’t flocking to their houses of worship (haven’t you heard? Pope’s taking confession on Instagram.). Normally, I’d point out that, suddenly, we’re not hearing from anti-vaxers clamoring to get to the bottom of the list. I might even take a shot at friends much smarter than I who dismiss the science-as-faith concept out of hand; if that praying for a cure you’re doing isn’t an act of faith, I might ask, what is?

But I’m not going to do that.

The larger precept here is much simpler; COVID-19 underscores the dangerous habit of acting without evidence. The American political system has made a cottage industry out of turning science into ideology. Corona smashed that to hell in  a week.

Whether it’s politics or religion or the weather, beware those who act without evidence. If anything, resist it. Yeah, it makes you an asshole. But it’s time we pucker up and give resistance to stupidity.

As Evidentialism loves to cite, we do it in our everyday lives anyway. Imagine: You live in a place that gets a real winter. You’re in day 3 of a winter storm that’s dumped 8 inches a day and dropped temperatures to sub-zero.

Your brother walks into the living room, icicles dangling from his nose and eyebrows, dressed in nothing but a t-shirt, jeans and sandals. “Man!” you’re brother proclaims. “I’m freezing!” After laughing your ass off at the dullard, you’d probably ask why he didn’t bother checking the forecast — or looking outdoors.

Yet on deeper issues — issues that shape the core of what makes you you — it’s impolite to ask whey they hold the opinion they do. It’s rude, we’re told. It’s intrusive. People are free to think what they want.

Exactly. So why not find out where they’re coming from?