Monthly Archives: September 2019

Time Has Come Today

GP: Hurricane Dorian Donald Trump map sharpie 190904

Some facts are simply sad. Cancer exists. Dogs die. And stupidity has become a cottage industry.

You don’t need our president’s rejection of science as proof. That’s too nuanced. Instead, just look at the administration’s latest effort to cash in on Hurricane Dorian, a disaster that has killed more than three dozen people, left 70,000 Bahama residents homeless and continues to send Americans scurrying to attics to stay above storm surges that have left homes up to 13 feet underwater.A flooded shop is seen next to Rodanthe Sound as Hurricane Dorian hits Cape Hatteras in North Carolina on September 6, 2019. - The final death toll from Hurricane Dorian in the Bahamas could be "staggering," a government minister has said as the storm lashed North Carolina in the US Friday with torrential rain and fierce wind.

The government response? This weekend, the Trump Make America Great Again Committee began selling sets of five “Official Donald Trump Fine Point Markers” for $15. You remember the marker: It’s the one President Pederast used to include Alabama in Dorian’s path.

“Buy the official Trump marker, which is different than every other marker on the market, because this one has the special ability to drive CNN and the rest of the fake news crazy!” Trump campaign manager Brad Pascale tweeted on Friday morning along with the hashtag #KeepMarkersGreat.

Pascale included a link to the product on the Trump campaign website. The page states it is a set of five “Official Donald Trump Fine Point Markers” for $15, with Trump’s signature printed in gold on the outside of the permanent ink fine-tip marker. The markers are “non-toxic” and “Proudly Made in the USA,” according to the website. “Set the record straight!” the product description states. “Get your set of Official Donald Trump fine point markers today!”

Unless that sale includes the right to sharpie a wang on Trump’s sleeping face, I’ll pass. In the meantime, some less depressing factslaps:

  • The Museum of Bread Culture in Ulm, Germany, has a collection of over 18,000 objects, none of which is bread. Image result for bread
  • Half of your brain stands guard when you are sleeping in a new place for the first time.Image result for Half of your brain stands guard when you are sleeping in a new place for the first time.
  • Cologne was originally produced as protection against the plague. It was widely believed that bad-smelling air spread the disease.Image result for Cologne was originally produced as protection against the plague. It was widely believed that bad-smelling air spread the disease.
  • In Northern Ireland, women earn 3.4% more than men on average.Image result for In Northern Ireland, women earn 3.4% more than men on average.
  • The people of the U.S.are collectively overweight by a total of about 4 billion pounds.Image result for The people of the U.S.are collectively overweight by a total of about 4 billion pounds.
  • There are 16 countries in Africa with higher vaccination rates than the U.S.Image result for There are 16 countries in Africa with higher vaccination rates than the U.S.
  • The Incas’ measurement of time was based on how long it took to boil a potato.Image result for The Incas' measurement of time was based on how long it took to boil a potato.

  • In French, Hungarian, Spanish, Italian, Portuguese, Latvian, Serbian, Croatian, Bosnian, Montenegrin and Tagalog, the words for ‘time’ and ‘weather’ are the same. Image result for time and weather

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xI2bsmZEFpE

 

Sacha Baron Cohen and the Perils of Playing it Straight

Image result for the spy cohen netflix

Sacha Baron Cohen has made a career out of subterfuge. As Ali G, Borat, Bruno and others, Cohen has used his comedic talents to become Hollywood’s best undercover operator, duping Dick Cheney, Sarah Palin, Joe Arpaio, Ted Koppel and more to underscore American hubris, bigotry and overall clulessness with little more than a camera, makeup and an accent. You’d think he’d be a natural for The Spy, Netflix’s new miniseries.

But under the confines of a scripted period drama, Cohen proves less a chameleon and more an apt protagonist for a series that’s short on drama and shorter on plot twists and surprises. The result feels like a documentary that dramatizes portions not caught on camera or through interviews. It’s a serviceable show, and portrays a compelling real-life character. But Spy promises a John le Carré-style drama,  and viewers may feel double-crossed by the unfulfilled pledge.

Cohen plays Eli Cohen (no relation), a real Israeli spy who infiltrated the highest levels of the Syrian government in the 1960s. Baron Cohen is taking on the role not just of a secret agent, but a super one, and the results are undeniably muted, thanks in part to a script that telegraphs where it’s headed in the opening moments of the series.

As The Spy begins, Eli is a happily married Israeli Everyman, an Egyptian Jew forced to expatriate to Tel Aviv.  He bristles at his perceived secondary status as a Sephardic Jew, though his angst is buried within the scribbled love notes to his doting wife Nadia (Hadar Ratzon Rotem). Those conflicting faces underscore The Spy‘s fault line; creator Gideon Raff seems determined to muffle an explosive subject so as not to offend viewer sensitivities. Even the color palate of the series is so dampened as appear black-and-white in sections.

Approached by the Mossad, which is desperate to embed an agent in Syria, Eli turns out to be wiz at spycraft, as a training montage turns Eli into a Bond-ian operative with a memorable call number to boot: Agent 88. Eli learns his new trade from a gruff handler (Noah Emmerich, with one of the more awkward Israeli accents in a series rife with them). Eli begins his identity makeover in Buenos Aires, where he poses as a rich and debonair import-exporter who longs to return to a Syrian homeland he has never seen.

For those not familiar with the real Eli Cohen (he’s much more known in Israel than America), Raff lays out the hero’s arc in the first episode — and scene. The opening shot is a flash-forward to the series’ end, after the Mossad secret agent is captured by the Syrian government and forced to write a farewell letter to his wife. In case you missed the message of the story in trailers, the scene even includes a line of dialogue from a jail observer: “My poor boy, you do not remember your name?”

From there, the series shifts back in time, six years earlier, to portray how Eli turned into the spy he became, and the cost he had to pay in memories and self-identity.  The unforeseeable sacrifice of blind patriotism is fine story fodder, if only it were unforeseeable for viewers. But if you’ve seen any of the Bourne movies, you’ve seen The Spy, just with more nuance, action and acting chops.

What makes The Spy watchable are two intriguing elements: the “true story” gravitas of the series, and the choice of Baron Cohen as the leading man. Sacha Baron playing Eli is a bold decision, given most fans know the chameleon comedian from his situational satires Da Ali G Show, Borat, and Who Is America? Though he’s appeared in dramas before (he was in Hugo and Les Miserables), seeing Cohen play a real-life character with little makeup is an intriguing test of his acting skills — and of audiences’ ability to suspend disbelief.

But after six hours, it’s hard to argue for or against Cohen’s career choice. He hits the emotive marks the script demands, and he hardly weighs down a series that could have crumbled under its own seriousness. But rarely does he  provide more than faces of nervousness or boredom, and it’s hard to tell whether the limitations are in his ability or in the story he inherited. There are even a handful of sterling moments, like when Eli is asked to shoot civilians to prove his loyalty.  But there are too few to call The Spy riveting.

The series benefits from beautiful photography by Itai Ne’eman, and Emmerich adds some much-needed subtlety to the series, despite a clunky accent. Rotem also elevates her character beyond that of a hand-wringing housewife left behind. But the strengths are not enough to negate the series’ looming obviousness. And for a spontaneous actor like Sacha Baron Cohen, predictability is an indefatigable foe.

Yabba Dabba Dinosaur!

There’s an old axiom in journalism that I try to live by. Well, it’s not so much an axiom as something I made up. But I’m old, and a journalist, so I stand by my hubris. And this is the dictum: If an image or quote tells the story better than you do, get out of the goddamn way.

In that spirit, after stumbling across this piece, I realized: Nothing reporters were writing amounted to anything more than filler. So I offer you the quotes, Facebook post and pictures of a bridesmaid who decided to surprise her bride-to-be sister with an inside joke:

  • “When you’re maid of honor and told you can wear anything you choose, I regret nothing.”
  • “I remember being surprised that everyone seemed to be doing their best to avoid noticing the elephant in the room (or should I say dino) but it was hard to see in the costume.”
  • “About a year ago my big sister texted me asking if I would be her maid of honor. She, knowing that I’m not a big fan of wearing formal dresses and that I probably wouldn’t have a lot of money to buy something really nice, reassured me by letting me know that I could pick out any outfit that I choose.”
  • “I was trying to think of something that I would be willing to wear more than once and thought to myself, ‘Well, (my sister) did say anything, and if I’m spending more than $50, I want it to be a dinosaur costume, because they’re fantastic and I’ve always wanted one.”