Monthly Archives: April 2017

More Notes from the Dept. of Redundancy Dept.

 

Didja know:

  • Soviet composer Dmitri Shostakovich was so obsessive that he regularly sent cards to himself to test how well the postal service was working. 
  • The CIA is supposed to release the JFK assassination records to the public no later than October 26, 2017.
  • Napoleon Dynamite had a budget of only $400,000 and Jon Heder was paid only $1,000 for his role as Napoleon.
  • The term “Abracadabra” has its origin in the Aramaic phrase meaning “I create as I speak.”
  • 3 in 10 Americans believe that a ‘secretive power elite’ is conspiring to rule the world through an authoritarian government.
  • The drugs used for a lethal injection in Texas cost $83.
  • A cheetah can go from 0 to 40 mph in three strides.

And finally, from lifelong family friend Earl Troglin, a canny internet voyager, this wonderful snitch Retriever. It begs the question: Why is there no CSI: Canine Unit?

 

 

The Best Political Commentary of 2017

—

What I Have in Common with Donald Trump

By Ethan Kuperberg, The New Yorker

—

I love television.

I have almost zero understanding of international politics.

I have not exercised in 2017.

I have never read the second half of “Infinite Jest.”

I have never read “The Art of the Deal,” by Donald Trump.

I know it’s silly and will never happen, but I secretly wish that Barack Obama were my best friend.

I have been scared every day since November 8, 2016.

I’m not as good at having sex as I think I am.

I am related to Jewish people whom I don’t understand.

A waiter once forgot to charge me for a drink at a restaurant, and I did not tell him to adjust the check.

Melania Trump has no interest in having sex with me.

When I get really stressed out, I like to watch the film “Finding Dory.”

I have recently Internet-stalked the people who bullied me in middle school.

I need more therapy than I am currently undergoing.

I look awful in hats.

Hillary Clinton is much smarter than I am, and I know it.

I would rather win an Emmy than be in politics.

I would rather win a free drink at the Coffee Bean than be in politics.

Sometimes I wish that dogs could talk. I wonder what they would say.

Not to harp on it, but “Finding Dory” has a plotline that I find easy to follow.

I am not on the correct medication.

I have a recurring nightmare in which my father tells me that he is not proud of me.

I have never had a one-on-one conversation with Tiffany Trump that lasted for longer than ten minutes.

I’m pretty sure I’m not gay, but every once in a while I see an attractive man and I think, Geez, that guy is good-looking.

I hope they make a sequel to “Finding Dory.”

I think that Paul Ryan is a fucking wimp.

I will never understand what it’s like to be a Syrian refugee.

It’s embarrassing to admit, but all I want, deeply and unequivocally, on any given day, at any given hour, is to have someone look me in the eye and tell me, with complete and profound sincerity, “I love you.”

I have never been democratically elected President of the United States. ♦

Notes from the Dept. of Redundancy Dept.

Didja know:

  • Japan officially recognizes Bitcoin as a method of payment but not as currency. 
  • While the U.S. generates 2/3 of its electricity from fossil fuels, South America generates 2/3 of it from renewable energy sources, making the continent a global leader in renewable energy.
  • Dams don’t last forever. Once they have exceeded their life span of 50 to 100 years, risk of the concrete deteriorating increases dramatically. 
  • Night owls are more likely to suffer from nightmares, surveys suggest. 
  • No one knows for sure why tennis points go 15-30-40, or even why 0 is called love.
  • Rosa Parks was sitting in the colored section of the bus during the infamous incident in Montgomery; she was asked to vacate her seat, in the front row of the colored section, because the white portion of the bus was filled. 
  • Diphylleia grayi is know as a skeleton flower because its white petals go transparent when wet, but return to white when dry. 
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