A good lie is better than a bad truth.

Don’t believe it? Your wife buys a dress that looks more like a mumu for a manatee. “Does this  make me look fat?” she asks you. The prosecution rests.

Stupidly, I’ve passed that tidbit on to several people, including my mother. Now every time I open my mouth, I can see the suspicion in their eyes, like I’m about to offer them investment opportunities in Nigerian royalty (which is bullshit; New York bridges are my wares of choice).

We won’t need to worry about deception, though, on midterm Tuesday. You see, a bad lie is also better than a bad truth, making this one of the most honest elections America will ever hold.

I know it’s counter-intuitive, but consider: Our president claims he had the largest inauguration crowd in history. That tells us he didn’t. That he knows the best words. That tells us he doesn’t. That he doesn’t collude for profit. We know that’s nyet true.  The Washington Post recently reported that Trump “has made 6,420 false or misleading claims over 649 days.”

First, wow. That takes focus.

Second, that’s actually a blessing for us. If you know someone abhors truth, you’re armed with a double-negative knowledge of truth. If, say, Trump claims in his rallies that the South American caravan poses an imminent national security risk, we know that it must not. If Trump says he believes the Saudi crown prince  knew nothing of the assassination of Jamal Khashoggi, then we know he ordered the hit.

Through his habitual lying, we get a crystal clear portrait of the man — and his party.

This election, the divisions are equally clear, the choices similarly stark. How do you feel about the wall? Republicans and Democrats are clear on the issue. Same with #metoo, white nationalism, immigration, abortion, gay rights, and yaddy. Trump’s diarrhea of the mouth has forced Republicans to take a stand, pick a side (the only Republican to challenge the party leader is dead). 

This is how elections should be. Not clouded by mealy-mouthed lackeys hoping not to offend. But offering the electorate a chance to pick a team, suit up and clash on the field — well aware of the other team’s playbook and strategy.

Which leads to the most frightening truth about playing poker with the cards face up: Whatever the outcome, we have it coming.

And now for some good truths, Factslaps:

• Netflix is responsible for 15% of global Internet traffic.
• In 2013, Disney tried to trademark the phrase “Día de Los Muertos,” a Mexican holiday.
• Emma Morano, the last person born in the 1800s, died in 2017 at the age of 117.
• In 2017, a 10-year-old boy in China spent 2 years collecting 160,000 plastic bottles, raising $2,700. He donated all this money to orphans of AIDS victims.
• The genome of wheat is five times larger than the human genome.
• China gets a new billionaire every five days.
• The Czech general Jan Zizka ordered his skin to be turned into a war drum after his death. It was beaten at times of national emergency.