Category Archives: The Everyman Chronicles

Dad Bod, Dad Jokes…Dad Veep?


While the 24/7s fixate on Donald Trump’s legal dramas, Joe Biden’s age concerns, and Kamala Harris’s ascent, they’re missing the real story. Tim Walz, Minnesota’s amiable governor, is quietly becoming the dark horse candidate America didn’t know it needed.

Welcome to 2024, where dad bods are hot, dad jokes hit harder than an Ali punch, and a “Dad Veep” might just be the ticket to the White House.

Historically, vice presidential picks have been exercises in cautious calculation. The bland, “do no harm” choices of the past read like a who’s who of political wallpaper.

A hundred bucks says you couldn’t pick Tim Kaine out of a police lineup. Remember Dan Quayle? How about the competent but colorless Walter Mondale? These selections were designed to balance the ticket without overshadowing the presidential nominee – safe, predictable, and utterly forgettable.

But times are changing. In an era where authenticity bests polish and relatable beats remarkable, Tim Walz stands out by blending in.

As the current Governor of Minnesota and a former high school teacher and football coach, Walz’s appeal lies in his ordinariness – a quality that, paradoxically, has become extraordinary in the realm of high-stakes politics.

Conservatives don’t know how to attack. He can shoot a gun, fix a car — and believes women have the right to choose?!

He worked the schools. Walz and his wife used IVF to conceive. He does not own a stock. He doesn’t understand the average American. He is the average American.

The stadiums are rocking for a reason. And while Harris has undeniable momentum, there’s only one newcomer in the presidential field. You’ll spot him because he’s the one laughing at his own jokes. Loudly and earnestly.

So while the pundits scramble to predict the next move in the electoral chess board, they’d do well to pay attention to the Walz wild card, and all the optimism that imbues.

In a twist that no one saw coming, the key to the White House might just be held by a guy who looks like he could be your next-door neighbor – because in many ways, he is.

Yasuke’s Tale


A bronze statue of Yasuke

Yasuke was one of the first Africans known to have set foot in Japan during the 16th century. Originally from Africa, possibly from Mozambique, Yasuke arrived in Japan in 1579 as a slave to the Italian Jesuit missionary Alessandro Valignano.

Yasuke’s striking appearance, particularly his dark skin, fascinated the Japanese people, including Oda Nobunaga, one of the most powerful warlords of the time. Nobunaga took a particular interest in Yasuke, who was reportedly over six feet tall—towering over most Japanese of the era. Impressed by his strength and loyalty, Nobunaga eventually made Yasuke a samurai, a rare honor for a foreigner.

Yasuke served Nobunaga faithfully, and he was present during significant historical events, including the Incident at Honnō-ji in 1582, where Nobunaga was betrayed by one of his generals, Akechi Mitsuhide.

After Nobunaga’s death, Yasuke was captured but spared execution, likely due to his foreign status. His fate after this period remains unclear, and his story has since become a blend of historical fact and legend:

  1. Yasuke’s Skin Color: One of the most famous legends is about the reaction to Yasuke’s dark skin. It is said that Oda Nobunaga, upon first seeing Yasuke, believed his skin was covered in ink and ordered him to strip and wash. When Yasuke’s skin remained dark, Nobunaga became fascinated and reportedly declared Yasuke a “black-skinned warrior” (kuro-suke), acknowledging his uniqueness.
  2. literalistically Strength and Stature: Yasuke’s exceptional physical strength and towering height (over six feet) were legendary in Japan, where the average height at the time was much shorter. Some stories depict Yasuke as almost superhuman in his physical prowess, able to wield heavy weapons and perform feats of strength that astonished those around him.
  3. Battlefield Prowess: As a samurai, Yasuke is said to have fought bravely alongside Oda Nobunaga. While historical records of his combat achievements are sparse, legends often describe him as a fierce and skilled warrior who could carry a man with one hand.
  4. The Escape from Honnō-ji: One popular legend involves Yasuke’s actions during the Incident at Honnō-ji, where Nobunaga was betrayed by Akechi Mitsuhide. According to the legend, Yasuke fought to protect Nobunaga, and then attempted to escape with Nobunaga’s head (to prevent it from being taken by the enemy, a significant act of loyalty in samurai culture). However, he was eventually captured.
  5. Mysterious Disappearance: After Nobunaga’s death, Yasuke’s fate became shrouded in mystery. Some legends suggest that he returned to Africa or continued to serve in Japan, while others imply that he disappeared without a trace.
  6. Symbol of Cultural Exchange: Over time, Yasuke’s story has taken on symbolic meaning, representing the blending of African and Japanese cultures. In modern interpretations, he is often portrayed as a bridge between worlds, embodying the idea that courage, honor, and loyalty transcend race and nationality.

What a concept.

Ode to A Sneaker

Snoop Dogg’s One Take

The Olympics reminds me I used to love sneakers. I still do, but I used to, too.

Nike, Adidas, Chuck Taylors. I was a gym shoe junkie back in the day. Dad used to say, “Those clown shoes won’t help you jump higher.” But I didn’t care. Each new pair felt like a superpower.

Remember those Larry Bird Converse Weapons? I had a pair in ’86. They were garish and ridiculous, but man, did I feel like a baller. I was sure they’d help me sink threes from half-court. Spoiler alert: they didn’t.

Larry Bird’s Converse Weapon

I thought I was done with cool sneakers when I hit 50. My feet voted for comfort over style. But then Snoop Dogg, of all people, got me back in the game with his Skechers collab.

Gin and Juice Snoop. Blunt-smokin Snoop. Olympic darling and grandfather of three Snoop.

He’s concocted a mad scientist shoe, the One Take, tourquoise and orange and platformed like he was late for Soul Train.

I love them. I want to be buried in them.

Now my closet’s a timeline of my life. Old high-tops next to sensible lookalikes. From “I can dunk” to “I can funk” to “I just want to walk without pain.”

Funny how things change. As a kid, I wore sneakers to impress classmates. Now? I wear what feels good. My feet finally got their Ph.D. in Not Giving a Damn.

And yet.

Did I mention they were $100? Jordans should be so affordable. Sometimes, when I squint, the orange stripes resemble an outstretched Chicago Bull.

Wore my new kicks to the docs last week. Then to poker. And they’ve become my cycling clog.

Life’s weird like that. Sometimes you think you’ve outgrown a thing, but it turns out it’s just grown up with you.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​