From the archives but never here:

July 29, 2020

From: The Dept. of Canine Renaming and Redundancy Dept.

To: JayDee Barkinger Bowles

Dear Ms. Bowles,

Your application for a spell-change to your first name has been approved to Jadie.

However, your application to drop your last name has been denied, as has your application for the personalized plate Dane Jadie Clench. And please tell your brother there’s no such thing as a “Disservice Dog.”