As grim as the news has been of late, give this to Fortuna: At least she has a dark wit.

Why, were it not for the gallows humor that is the GOP, The Daily Show would have perished already. Please, Comedy Central, consider a host (like Larry Whitmore) who has the snarky cynicism of a political insider, not the baffled chuckle of a tourist. For now, though, all Trevor Noah need do is aim his camera at the Republican Party, and it will send in the clowns.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NZV7HHbbYhw

And then there’s the absurdity between the U.S. government and Apple. In investigating the San Bernardino mass slayings, the U.S. District Attorney attempted to crack the encryption code on the shooter’s iPhone. The execs at Apple (a notoriously petulant and uncooperative bunch) responded that their new IOS 8 was so invulnerable that even they can’t hack into the new operational system.

In response, the District Attorney’s Office hustled two bureaucrats on Charlie Rose to castigate the corporation, rightfully doubting the company’s claim of invulnerability (sure does make for a nice ad) and absurdly asking that Apple go back to the more-hackable IOS 7 (has technology ever moved backward?).

But the larger question — one Rose failed to ask — is this: What did the feds think was going to happen? Apple is already under investigation for skirting the US Treasury of more than $64 billion in taxes.

But Washington’s need to sniff the thrones of profitable syndicates, from Smith & Wesson to Pfizer to Bank of America, has fed a creature that’s grown larger than the creator.

And it’s hungry.

That’s the problem with monsters.

You never know who they’ll kill.